The Thin Blue Wallet

No Incentive

For all the B.S. lip-service people give about how jacked-up it is that the most important jobs in our society (police, firefighters, teachers, community columnists, etc) don’t get paid what they’re worth, we all do a crappy job trying to change it. But boy howdy, if the taxes go up the populace is pissed!

In case you didn’t notice when it happened, the “old” city council voted to fund the pension fund at 6% ($353,854) by cutting the incentive pay plan for fire and police personnel in half. According to the Telegraph, who didn’t think this belonged above the fold, Macon Police Chief Mike Burns reports that 16 officers have resigned since July, not counting retirements, each citing pay as a significant reason. The incentive pay plan was put in place to reward extra training and education, and doled out twice a year. And that means that our best trained and education officers have even less reason to stick around the MPD.

If you’re wondering who would do such a thing, former councilman Henry Ficklin proposed the measure, and the following council members voted in favor: Brenda Youmas, James Timley, Anita Ponder, Willette Hill-Chambliss, Charles Jones, Filomena Mullis and Nancy White. Voting against: Rick Hutto, Elaine Lucas, Mike Cranford, Ed DeFore, Alveno Ross, and Miriam Paris. (Cole Thomasson wasn’t present.)

It is mildly interesting to note that five voting in favor are out of office, for various reasons, but everyone voting against it is still in office. That night, two other options were offered. One would have deleted new vehicle purchases in the fire and police departments, providing more money to the pension fund and leaving the incentive pay intact, but that wasn’t legally possible so it couldn’t happen. The other was to increase the tax millage rate to fund the fire and police pension fund. That’s when Ficklin offered his alternative method.

Regardless the options—or the option of seeking other options—we’re now stealing from current officers and firefighters to pay those who’ve retired. Like the hotel deal, which has gotten far more play in the public eye, this is probably something that should’ve been mulled over just a little longer. As it stands, Macon looks to lose its best firefighters and police officers, which means we likely won’t be getting off those “high crime” lists anytime soon.

That New City Council Smell

Warm welcome to Lonnie Miley, Larry Schlesinger, Tom Ellington, Virgil Watkins, Jr., Lauren Benedict, and Erick Erickson. Despite only having to beat someone in your own party (for those who actually had to run against someone), we all go forth with great big, fuzzy feelings about the potential you hold. Seriously. We know (hope) you’re taking this job with the best interests of the city at heart.

Behind Closed Doors

Inside of a week, a few folks did a lot of politicking. In something of a surprise, Miriam Paris was the sole nominee and unanimous winner of the vote to become City Council President. She was followed in the exact same manner by James Timley as President Pro-Tem for the second time, and Ed DeFore as the third member of the Committee on Committees, which is a weirdly named but super powerful committee. Without speculating, suffice it to say that it didn’t take long for the internal shift in power to take place. You don’t get three unanimous decisions, even with three sole nominees, without someone throwing some weight around somewhere. The looks on certain council members’ faces said a lot. That doesn’t mean it was shady, but it does mean something… we’ll just have to wait to see what that is.

Oh Yeah…

We have a new Mayor now. His name is Robert Reichert. Ever heard of him?

the next column

The Next Civil War

I’ve always snickered at folks who think the South will rise again, but after witnessing my beloved Bulldawgs suffer great indignity during the BCS Selection Show, I’m ready pick up arms and declare a secession. Hawaii?! Lewis Grizzard is rolling over in his grave! The one team that no one took seriously even though they were the lone undefeated—bull hockey! This while Illinois, with three losses, gets to have their teeth kicked in by the USC Trojans at the Rose Bowl.

Gimme Some Coin

The Mayor of Upper Cherry Street called the office with some interesting news. Seems that Mayor Ellis isn’t done yet. He’s minted some coins, no joke, of himself. You can go to the WMCC News blog and peep some pictures of these bronze babies. They announce one indisputable fact and two nice goals. Fact: “C. Jack Ellis First African American Mayor of Macon, GA.” And, wishful thinking: “Macon, Georgia… One of the Most Livable Cities in America/A City of Excellence.” (It’s true unless you’re a homeowner, a police officer, a downtown business owner, or a child trying to catch the school bus.)

It’s how you look at it, stupid

Contrary to my cynicism about Macon being one of the MOST “livable” cities in America, I do love this town. I just see it for what it is: a work in progress. So it hurts when I think it’s being maligned needlessly, just like it makes me roll my eyes when I think it’s being praised needlessly.

The Telegraph ran a big story about the city going through a projected 30% economic slowdown. However, the deal is that the percent decrease seems really contrived. Towards the end of the article, it points out that the 30% decrease is actually the projected percent change off of an earlier projection, both projections actually suggesting that the economy will still grow… even if the number went down from 2.7% to 1.9%.

When Executive Editor Sherrie Marshall states in her blog, in defense of the excessive Oprah coverage, that Telegraph readers wanted more positive stories, this is probably what they meant. Don’t spin things like this so they seem so damn dire. Just tell the story. It doesn’t have to be fluff to be positive.

Buzz for the King Bee

This time last year, a coalition starring Alan Walden and Bill Elder tried to get the Georgia Music Hall of Fame to induct “the King Bee”, Hamp Swain. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. So they’re trying it again. If you don’t know, Hamp was the first black DJ in Macon, and the first DJ of any color in America to play James Brown—in fact, he helped record Brown’s first demo in the basement of the WIBB building here. He was the first to play Otis Redding, and his “Teenage Party” was some of the first exposure Redding got outside of church. In later years, he established a record label to help get other locals a chance to be heard. It seems safe to conclude that without Hamp Swain some of those greats wouldn’t have been heard. Go to www.HampSwain.com for more details.

Try a Little Remembrance

Speaking of Otis Redding, December 10^th marks the 40^th Anniversary of his untimely passing. The aforementioned GMHF will be hosting a memorial reception. It’s free to the public from 7p-9p with their big Otis exhibit on display. There’ll be dignitaries and such present, perhaps some music too. This celebration of our famous native son extends across the country at the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, the Stax Museum, and in Wisconsin where his plane crashed. As nice as those all will be, there’s no tribute as fitting as putting on a few tracks and remembering the power in that man’s voice.

The Readers Choice Awards

The 11th Hour’s big fuzzy publisher gave me the inside track on how some of the voting is going in our Readers Choice Awards. Obviously, he found this one situation rather amusing: Telegraph columnist Ed Grisamore has charged far ahead of booze columnist Chris Horne in the Best Writer category. Funnier to me is that, within a month of the other, they both profiled the same person for their respective papers: Westside student Quin Simpson. Maybe our voters saw Ed’s version and liked it better.

Oprah… again?!

As sick as I am that I’m doing this, I’m even sicker that I feel obliged to. The Telegraph ran another front-page story on Oprah. Apparently, it is NEWS to us that we were on TV. That’s what the article was about—that and how we’re still Oprah-crazy around here. On a different note, I think it’s time The 11th Hour took credit for spreading the word that Macon is the birthplace of the Kazoo. Sure, some folks knew about it, but no one was talking until the 2006 City Guide came out with that juicy tidbit in it. And of course, who put on the (failed) World Record Kazoo attempt? We did. I bring this up because Oprah passed out kazoos on her show.

Some Dead Horses

I think I finally understand why pundits and commentators waste so much time beating dead horses. Like Barry Bonds and steroids, or Democrats and hating America. For one, it’s still news, even if it is made to be that way by the media, and people are still talking about it, even if they are saying how they hate all the talk about it. Secondly, each one of them thinks they can bring something new to the table, that they can say something no one else has yet said.

That’s how I feel about Oprah. I know it’s being talked to death, and part of what I want to say is that it’s being talked to death, to which I automatically contribute to, but I still think I have something to say.

Who Oprah is and what she’s done with her life is really remarkable. She is probably the closest thing this country has had, in terms of a pop hero, since Elvis. That people are excited to see her is not a surprise and it is not necessarily upsetting. The degree to which people are excited is surprising, and the way that media coverage has been is upsetting.

The Telegraph has some fine writers who do a good job. I do not subscribe to the notion that our daily isn’t a local paper, though I am frequently critical of some editorial decisions, like all the farmed out stories that make their way to the front page and where they put some local stories. Whereas Oprah is concerned, it is upsetting that they have three or four writers gathering stories on Oprah, but it is more upsetting that a great piece by Matt Barnswell on Mayor Ellis’s shady charity was relegated to one line below the fold on the front page, and practically buried in the local section.

If you missed it, and you probably did, the Mayor’s farewell party took place the same day as the filming of Oprah’s show. The proceeds of the party are to go into Ellis’s charity. Acting like a reporter, Barnswell went in search of where these funds go and how they’re allocated, to which the Mayor responded with profanity as he refused to explain where the money goes. He said, giving the vaguest of specifics, that the money will go to “families with kids who have special damn needs.” Barnswell didn’t rely only on the shocking way with which our city leader responded, but also dug into what kind of charity it is and how it operates. It’s a good piece of reporting, the kind we need more of here, a throwback to the notion that the media is our fourth estate, here to protect the regular joe. Unfortunately, that issue of the paper, like several before it, were consumed by the stupid tabloid crap that the Telegraph thinks the regular Joe wants to read instead.

I understand it when the Telegraph does revenue building stuff like charging people to submit pictures of their pet then charging them to vote on the cutest pictures and then selling a calendar comprised of the 12 top vote-getters. I get it. Print isn’t the money maker it used to be. I get it when they exploit WRLL’s world championship, selling momentos and giving ungodly coverage well after the heart-warming victory. We all need money. No problem.

What I don’t like is when this means sacrificing the actual news. While you could argue that Oprah’s visit really deserved front page attention (again), I don’t see how you could argue that in the same issue Barry Bonds’ indictment and the naming of the Cherry Blossom mascot also deserved above the fold treatment while a story that sheds light on some potentially shady dealing by our top city official gets pushed down.

Pay attention to shit like this. You’re partially to blame if you’re more willing to buy a paper with fluff on the cover than actual news. At the same time, I wish the Telegraph had a little more integrity in that department.As for Oprah’s visit, I’m still dismayed at how fanatical the city has become. Though I’d debate how good the exposure her show will generate for our city, I don’t think it is a bad thing.

What I realized Friday, as I watched scores of people hustling from spot to spot trying to find Oprah, is that the best exposure she could give us would be internal. Our publisher noted how full downtown was because of her. What I take issue with is that Oprah knew all the cool places to go downtown—the Tubman, the H&H, Ginger Michelle, Nu-Way, etc—but on a daily basis, citizens of this city don’t. During Cherry Blossom and on First Fridays, people turn out. Those cool places aren’t any less cool on regular days, but again, it seems like only outsiders see that.

Running the Race

Dr. Catherine Meeks and Company filled the Douglass Theatre last night (not a difficult task, even in Macon) to talk about race. I have mixed feelings on the race discussion. I think it needs to take place, yeah, but what good is talking? What bothers me is the social segregation we willingly do to ourselves. Talking isn't going to change that. What I'd like to see is someone out there providing logical opportunities for the different races (including Asians and Mexicans, etc.) to mix and mingle, to hang out. That'll do more to change our attitudes on races than anything.

If that sounds stupid, or if you're thinking "well, we have to get past racist attitudes just to get people to hang out", then think about this: Where are the most integrated places in Macon? Kroger, Smiley's, chain restaurants -- it's in middle class environments. Granted, get into the bars and churches then you see one side or another, but you know what, there are folks already assembling in the same spaces. What we got to do is make it more social.

That, to me, also points out that the racism is less of a big deal for regular folks, for those lower-middle and middle class people. The trouble is with the groups of people who routinely only hang out with one race or another. In other words: the really broke or the well-to-do. They are the people who are most insulated. They are those most likely to hate or act like they hate.

Either way, the Telegraph didn't treat this story right. Writer Ashley Joyner spent her first three paragraphs marveling at the size of the crowd as if a couple hundred people in a metro area of over 150,000 should be that impressive. Secondly, she wrote this: "many in attendance concluded afterward was the most candid discussion about race they had witnessed in a long while - in Macon, at least."

She's alluded, I'm sure, to how Macon just hasn't moved on, and in some ways, she's right. But in other, more accurate ways, she's blind. It isn't just Macon. It isn't just the South. It's this whole country, and in fact, the whole world. We just find prejudice in other ways. Does it make us less sophisticated because we haven't moved on to hating gays more than blacks?

But what really pisses me off is how little the whole article says and this paragraph is the heart of it not saying anything. "... the most candid discussion about race they had witnessed in a long while..." Really?

And what, pray tell, made it so candid?

An Open Letter to Joe Kovac Jr

Dear Joe Kovac, Jr.,

You remember that episode of the Andy Griffith Show when the big wig Hollywood types came to Mayberry to film a movie? Remember how Mayberry reacted? Like a bunch of desperate teenagers at a middle school prom, hopin' and a'prayin the pretty girl would dance with them.

Macon is starting to act like that about Oprah, and you, my man, aren't helping. "Oprah's coming but in some ways she's always been here" -- What in the world, dude? Seriously. What does that even mean? I read the article and I still don't know. All I know is that you and Tina McElroy Ansa both really like Oprah and seem to think that this will be a life-altering experience for the city. Are you shitting me?

Since I don't know you but believe you, like most human beings, are good and decent, I want to believe that this was just a shitty assignment you got handed. I want to believe that you protested, and in fact, that a part of your protest was to write the lamest piece of bullcrap you could imagine. Few things of a non-sexual (but definitely hetero) nature would make me happier than to think you were trying to pull the wool over everyone's eyes.

But I'm not betting on it. Honestly, if I had to bet -- if my money, my reputation or my kids were on the line, I'd bet that you approached your boss with the idea. You're probably pushing to do one of those irritating questionless interviews with Oprah. (Really, chief, why can't you print the damn questions? It'd make so much more sense.)

Alright. I'm done... for now.

Just so's you know what all this is about

I am not a politician. I'm not even into politics, but I am into my community. Some stuff just pisses me off more than others, and someone was stupid enough (or smart enough) to give me a forum for sharing it. More than anything, I figure I'm a lot like you out there. I hear what's going on, and it bothers me. Someone's got to because there doesn't seem to be a lot of anyone standing up for the little guy (and gal) in the midstate. Everyone's got their clique but us. Until now. Whit Mumbley here, ready to blog truth to power.

PS - Sometimes, there are things that make me happy. I'll get to them too. Balance, they call it.

My column from the November 8th issue

Super… Tuesday
Well, I just voted, and the cynical part of me really wondered why. For the most part, all I did was put a check beside the only person on the ballot. Aside from there being two mayoral candidates and David Corr’s write-in campaign, there was really no point. It was just confirming the foregone conclusions.

Why do we have partisan elections for city office? Whoever takes the primary usually has no other opposition. That kills the drama, and more importantly, it hinders the quality of the people we put into office. If we had viable two-party representation in Macon, it’d be one thing, but we don’t. The problem is that the primaries take place two months before the “ELECTION” and if you don’t think that matters, look at the Mayoral race. There were some really qualified candidates but they were all on the Democratic ticket. They battled it out so one would have the indignity of facing one of the Republican candidates, neither of whom had held a public office before trying to become the leader of our city.

With two additional months of campaigning, we’d certainly know more about our candidates. I’m not bashing Reichert or our new council—and god knows I’m wishing you all the best of luck, for yourselves and us—but really, this is a ridiculous system and it needs to change. Y’all see if you can put that on your agenda.

Just don’t get the message
The bozos in the office apparently only check their messages once in a blue moon. Seems David Corr, in a moment of true political courage, called up to let me know he doesn’t support sexual slavery. He said he’s personally asked the women in the massage parlors if they are, indeed, sex slaves. Corr reports that they are not—so it’s all good, right? Of course, the head cheese at the paper didn’t save the messages so I don’t know verbatim what all Corr said, but I do invite him—and any of you, if you’re brave enough—to send your messages directly to me at the email address above. Go on, I dare ya. I might just start up a blog while I’m at it.

I want a whole mess of fried Oprah
Oh man, oh man, can’t wait until Oprah comes to town. It’s like Cherry Blossom is happening twice this year! Gon’get me a brand new pair of church pants, and some steppin’ out shoes. Exciting times are here again! (And, the mayor’s farewell party is that night too!)

Seriously though… The Telegraph has three writers working on some of the lamest bullshit I’ve ever heard. Phillip Ramati is looking for the “biggest Oprah fan in Middle Georgia.” Harold Goodridge wants to know we think have been the greatest moments from Oprah’s show. And of course Joe Kovac Jr. wants to hear from people who actually got tickets to the show—and he wants to know what special something-something you wrote when you applied.

Despite constantly churning out sappy-ass non-news like this, one writer at “Tha Graph” recently called The 11th Hour “bastardized journalism”. Well buddy row, we’re not the newspaper—YOU ARE. Our paid staff consists of four people—y’all just assigned three writers to cover the filming of a TV show.

And you wonder what’s wrong with the city. It ain’t always the politicians, folks.

Procreating Grace
Big ups to muh girl, Nancy Grace. She’s a mama to brand new twins—a boy and girl. Congrats to you and yours. Can’t wait until she’s back on the air being the helmet-haired avenger we’ve all come to love for her ability to make us believe that evil is real and it lives next door.