My column from the November 8th issue

Super… Tuesday
Well, I just voted, and the cynical part of me really wondered why. For the most part, all I did was put a check beside the only person on the ballot. Aside from there being two mayoral candidates and David Corr’s write-in campaign, there was really no point. It was just confirming the foregone conclusions.

Why do we have partisan elections for city office? Whoever takes the primary usually has no other opposition. That kills the drama, and more importantly, it hinders the quality of the people we put into office. If we had viable two-party representation in Macon, it’d be one thing, but we don’t. The problem is that the primaries take place two months before the “ELECTION” and if you don’t think that matters, look at the Mayoral race. There were some really qualified candidates but they were all on the Democratic ticket. They battled it out so one would have the indignity of facing one of the Republican candidates, neither of whom had held a public office before trying to become the leader of our city.

With two additional months of campaigning, we’d certainly know more about our candidates. I’m not bashing Reichert or our new council—and god knows I’m wishing you all the best of luck, for yourselves and us—but really, this is a ridiculous system and it needs to change. Y’all see if you can put that on your agenda.

Just don’t get the message
The bozos in the office apparently only check their messages once in a blue moon. Seems David Corr, in a moment of true political courage, called up to let me know he doesn’t support sexual slavery. He said he’s personally asked the women in the massage parlors if they are, indeed, sex slaves. Corr reports that they are not—so it’s all good, right? Of course, the head cheese at the paper didn’t save the messages so I don’t know verbatim what all Corr said, but I do invite him—and any of you, if you’re brave enough—to send your messages directly to me at the email address above. Go on, I dare ya. I might just start up a blog while I’m at it.

I want a whole mess of fried Oprah
Oh man, oh man, can’t wait until Oprah comes to town. It’s like Cherry Blossom is happening twice this year! Gon’get me a brand new pair of church pants, and some steppin’ out shoes. Exciting times are here again! (And, the mayor’s farewell party is that night too!)

Seriously though… The Telegraph has three writers working on some of the lamest bullshit I’ve ever heard. Phillip Ramati is looking for the “biggest Oprah fan in Middle Georgia.” Harold Goodridge wants to know we think have been the greatest moments from Oprah’s show. And of course Joe Kovac Jr. wants to hear from people who actually got tickets to the show—and he wants to know what special something-something you wrote when you applied.

Despite constantly churning out sappy-ass non-news like this, one writer at “Tha Graph” recently called The 11th Hour “bastardized journalism”. Well buddy row, we’re not the newspaper—YOU ARE. Our paid staff consists of four people—y’all just assigned three writers to cover the filming of a TV show.

And you wonder what’s wrong with the city. It ain’t always the politicians, folks.

Procreating Grace
Big ups to muh girl, Nancy Grace. She’s a mama to brand new twins—a boy and girl. Congrats to you and yours. Can’t wait until she’s back on the air being the helmet-haired avenger we’ve all come to love for her ability to make us believe that evil is real and it lives next door.